First Look: Why We Changed Our Minds

Long before we even started wedding planning, there was one thing Andrew and I were both dead set on: we were not doing a first look! If you’ve never heard of a “first look” before, it’s a private meeting between the bride and groom on the wedding day. It takes place before the ceremony and allows the portraits and family photos to be taken beforehand to save time. When this first became a trend, I was so not into it. I thought it was nontraditional and impersonal! I just couldn’t imagine forgoing the customary walk down the aisle moment I had pictured since I was a little girl just for extra time for pictures. If you asked me even a month before the wedding, I would have told you it was absolutely not going to happen but then everything changed.

When I started putting together the final timeline for the wedding day, I realized just how tight timing was going to be. With the ceremony starting at 4 PM, we had limited time afterwards to do all of our portraits and family photos before the sun went down. Even with all of this, we were still not convinced that a first look was right for us. I did some research on WeddingWire forums and read what other couples had to say about their experiences with and without a first look and it made me think! To finalize our decision, we talked to our photographer, Charissa Magno, who told us all about her personal experience with a first look and I was stunned. Even as a photographer, she wasn’t trying to convince us to do a first look for the photos. She was telling us how special the first look was for her and her husband on their wedding day. I never even considered a first look being for the experience, rather than simply for convenience. After hearing so many couples talk about why they were glad they did a first look, we were convinced. Here are the reasons why we changed our mind about doing a first look, besides the obvious scheduling benefits, and why we are so glad we did.

Private Moments

Since Andrew and I are together literally every single day and love hanging out with each other (if you’re getting married, you probably should!), we are most comfortable when we are with each other. With the ceremony not starting until late afternoon, that meant that most of our day would be spent apart! Not to be cheesy but we didn’t see each other the night before so by the time 4 PM came the next day, Andrew and I would be seriously missing each other. Having our first look earlier meant that we got to spend private moments together before the craziness of the day started. Once the wedding officially begins, you spend the whole time greeting guests and celebrating with everyone and don’t have very much time to soak in the moments with your groom. Being able to have the intimate moment of seeing each other for the first time on our wedding day without having to worry about anything else was so amazing. We got to stand and chat, focusing only on each other, for a few minutes. I’ll never forget the way my heart pounded while I waited for him to turn around or the look on his face when he saw me in my dress for the very first time. Those are moments we will both treasure forever.

Goodbye Nerves

No matter how laid back and composed you are, you’re both likely going to have some nerves on the day of. I was relatively calm while getting ready but I knew once I saw Andrew, any hint of anxiety or nerves would completely go away. As soon as I saw my groom standing there, looking dapper as ever in his tux, I felt like the whole world slowed down. It was the first time all day that I could take a deep breath and feel normal. Whether it’s the build up of excitement or nerves about walking down the aisle that’s making you antsy, seeing each other will make everything melt away. All that remained was pure joy. I’m not sure how the rest of the wedding day would have gone without it!

Walk Down the Aisle

The thing that initially made us so opposed to a first look was the idea of giving up the “walk down the aisle” moment. Neither one of us could imagine not having the feeling we had envisioned our entire lives. We figured that if we did a first look, the walk down the aisle would be so anti-climatic and emotionless but that was definitely not the case. Although we had seen each other less than 30 minutes before the ceremony, the walk down the aisle was everything we had ever dreamed of and more. We both cried tears of joy and were able to fully be in the moment. If anything, the first look made the walk down the aisle more special because we were able to be present, without any nervousness. Had I known before how special this moment was going to be, I would never have hesitated doing the first look in the first place.

How do you feel about first looks? Do you plan on doing one on your big day?